Mom-a-Tron

My Friend Should Be the Next Top Self-help Author

2011-02-20T12:00:00.001-07:00

In fifth grade I started hanging out with a boy-crazed, fiery and hilarious girl. By the sixth grade, I was devoted to her and moving to a new town where I wouldn't see her devastated me. I've always preferred friends to environment. Nearly 30 years passed and my thoughts of spectacular friendships always included Wendy. Where did she go and what has she done? In one of those

And those arms!

2010-07-05T01:14:00.000-07:00

I left this man and this landscape for a single existence in a desperate desert. I have responsibilities here and a firm hand on the children, though those capable arms are hard to do without. We'll have to call him Cowboy Captain Handsome Hubster, Ph.D. from now on. I think he even looks ... happy. Don't you think? Unfortunately, cell service stinks there, so I can't call him at all. A

"What's a Movie?" "It's a form of entertainment that enacts a story by sound and a sequence of images giving the illusion of continuous movement, but that doesn't matter right now."

2010-06-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

Dad has pretty much always questioned authority, thumbed his nose at convention, and rebelled against whatever he felt like. He keeps his mind open for continuing revelations even when those are that the status quo ain't all that bad. For example, after much study he concluded that Elvis is probably dead and aliens are probably not a direct threat, but he's had enough of the hospital so, smell ya

On The Lighter Side, It Can Be Dark

2010-06-06T18:49:00.000-07:00

When my great-grandmother died in 1987, my family trekked to Alabama for the funeral. Sissy Babe, the black nanny who had taken care of at least two generations of my family, cooked for us around the clock. We had fried baby catfish from the pond out back and fresh blueberry muffins made from fruit grown on vines over the back porch. I'm sure we ate other foods, but those were my

Poison

2010-05-17T10:59:00.001-07:00

Okay, time to come clean about my dad. He has a 3.5 cm cancerous tumor in his lungs that has not metastasized and can be cut out fairly simply. "Simply" here is relative, of course. I can say this because it is not my lung. This begs the question: Why hasn't the U.S. adopted the metric system? As it stands, poor little American scientists have to convert everything. It's not like we lack the

One Reason

2010-05-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

My wonderful, spectacular, amazing 10 YO artist made a quail family for me. It's so sweet! Because he's not just an artist, but a brilliant storyteller as well, he inscribed the picture with an anecdote including dialogue and a dramatic set-up. Yes, there is one reason why he loves me. And that reason is because one day I didn't make him go to school until he finished some portion of some video

May the 4th

2010-05-04T14:03:00.002-07:00

Happy Unofficial International Star Wars Day everyone. May the 4th be with you! The 4th was definitely with this crafty knitter! Craftzine is all over the multiple ways a person could represent through crafty goodness the gravity of this date. Alternatively you can grab the kiddos to combine your love for screen time, crafts, and conflicts in space with Star Wars Stuff to Do. I wasn't sure if

She's Mine

2010-04-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom, Put the crown on baby mouse when you feel like a qeen Put the sun hat on when you feEl lik a adventureer. from 7 YO Girl

Cornball Corn Dog Lover

2010-03-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, we recycle gray water. Yes, we are mindful of our utility usage. Yes, I buy only grass fed beef. Yes, we eat veggies from our garden. Still, a boy's gotta love what a boy's gotta love, and my boy loves corn dogs. He loves corn dogs so much that when one of his teachers assigned a project on architecture, he constructed a museum for the documentation of the storied past of the corn dog. When

Cookie Boothin' Throughout the Universe

2010-02-27T10:08:00.007-07:00

Hawt Mz came by the ole cookie booth yesterday. I wanted to tell her something cool like how I wore a Goody comb in my back pocket all day and then leave the story all enigmatically like that. Instead I geeked about books, gossiped about, uh, not gonna say, and then realized I smell like armpits most of the time.Later the 10 YO, who was sitting behind a plate glass window playing his DS and

Dodging Balls

2010-02-16T12:41:00.006-07:00

In case you were wondering what I'm up to:Yeah, that's pretty much it. Dodging balls speeding toward my head from every direction (work, home, family). Fortunately, my team is most kick ass. The book festival booth planned for work is awesome, uplifting, and will make a difference while allowing others to pay it forward as well. I tackled clutter piles and called the Hubster to tell him he

If you say so, I will let down the nets* and maybe answer the door**

2010-02-07T15:29:00.008-07:00

Last week I dreamed that my son put together an intricate project rather like a LEGO construction. A teacher allowed the smashing of the project (or did it herself). I tried to collect the pieces on a blanket, but was chased away by the teacher before all was gathered.I scooped up the blanket and dashed off to Spanish. That teacher was busy roving around the school, but never entering her

When Taking the High Road, It's Best to Know the Way

2010-02-01T14:08:00.007-07:00

My brother received a camera for Christmas one year. We can go on ad nauseum about all the great stuff my brother got that I didn't, but that would ignore the fact that I got a bunch of awesome stuff too and acknowledgment of such would not lend itself well to my sour grapes attitude. We spent some time photographing our normal activities -- at least those I was willing to share with my brother.

When Darkness Fell

2010-01-20T22:28:00.005-07:00

The summer I was 11, I played on a softball team. The coach had a warrant out for her arrest, so we frequently didn't know when or where we would practice until we got a call about half an hour beforehand. Not surprisingly, like all teams with criminally inclined coaches, we kicked ass. At the end of the season, we had a huge slumber party at which I froze a bra for the first and last time. The

Motherhood Obsession

2010-01-18T21:05:00.006-07:00

I've discovered that, for work, Twitter is a billion times better for getting my info/gossip fix than anything else and that I act like a total techie jerk when my boss sends me a message like, "This is something so and so should know about ASAP." Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Yesterday's news."And so if you've been following my personal Twitter feed you know that lately I'm all about my great

Epiphany, or 20CMB10 as we like to call it

2010-01-06T22:18:00.004-07:00

It's Three Kings Day - Epiphany! We acknowledged the 12 Days of Christmas by being lazy about cleaning up our tree and then this morning, all four of us stepped outside in the frozen tundra of the desert (the lows last night must have been in the 40s -- BURR!) to bless the house.God of Light, bless our house and our family. May this be a place of peace and health. May each member of this family

Christmas Gifts

2009-12-27T14:30:00.005-07:00

Gifts we gave. We made all our gifts this year, including zipper pulls for the cousins' backpacks.Gifts for the kids. The tree is propped up by presents especially selected by our loved ones for us. Some of us were excited and some of us played it cool.The leather jacket emphasizes the cool, don't you think?Gifts for the dog. Toys marked "chew me" don't last long around these parts.Gifts for the

Happy Holidays All Ya'll

2009-12-24T23:05:00.001-07:00

Studly gets a name

2009-12-03T21:10:00.004-07:00

Did I mention I'm in love? The darling girl from this video aside, how amazing was her teacher? The woman who put this together is doing her student teaching in the 7 YO's classroom. I watched around 24 of these videos and the narrative in each brought out the unique voice of the first or second grade author. I once received a letter from Nora Ephron in which she discussed the importance of

Christmas Giving

2009-11-28T09:01:00.008-07:00

Now that we've gotten past the food and many of us have exorcised our inner shopping demons, I'd like to provide, as so many others have, alternative thoughts on gift giving at Christmas. My brother-in-law has requested a no spending policy between our families this season and I'm more than pleased to oblige. We did agree that no spending could mean finding our inner craftster, however, I'm

Black Friday

2009-11-27T17:16:00.005-07:00

At least one member of my Peaceable Kingdom celebrated Black Friday, though not as you may suspect.

2009-11-25T10:46:00.005-07:00

When I posted the 9 YO boy's Tucson Winter, I went on a search of Just Another Banana's bog because I remember she ran to the bird sanctuary one snowy day to snap some photos. I couldn't find her snowy cacti pictures, so I went to the school's Web site to see if they had possibly loaded some. Instead I took a trip down memory lane.That place is special and is where community for me first burst

Tucson Winter

2009-11-24T00:09:00.004-07:00

I don't send Christmas cards, but if I did, the art would look exactly like this:And for a new low, low price, it can be. The 9 YO boy's Tucson Winter is gorgeous.

Mom-a-tron Works

2009-11-20T19:40:00.003-07:00

I'm at a conference. I've left my life in the hands of Handsome Hubster, whom I continue to trust though he's given me plenty of reasons to question this tendency of mine. One thing he likes to do when I'm gone is throw things away, things like integral pieces of expensive gadgets and all my tax receipts. Consequently, I don't go away much.Hubster claims to love the children, so I trust him with

Girl Scout Cookie Season

2009-11-11T22:20:00.006-07:00

Cookie season is a major event for the girls in green. They love the excitement and enticements that accompany those sales. In Arizona, boxes are slightly more expensive because they offer so many scholarships to the girls. Last year, our troop sales were incredible and we paid for visits to Build-a-Bear, Rocks and Ropes, and Camp Creepenstein, as well as donating boxes of cookies and cash, and

Booky Giftness

2009-10-20T21:33:00.005-07:00

It's a well-known fact that I adore books. I seriously <3 books. Seriously. So when yesterday turned out to be a two book/two gift day, I ran out to buy a lotto ticket (not really).Upon returning from Australia, my boss gave me the children's book Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea, which is so salacious that it's not even purchasable through Amazon. Why? Perhaps this illustration from the book could

Students in the News

2009-10-15T20:55:00.004-07:00

Hawt Mz got the kids busy setting up their own market as their first quarter project. The kids started with a field trip to a local grocer. Then they researched food groups, product labels, grocery geography, and grocer careers. Of course, Mz can't make a move without the paparazzi, so the first of three news crews came to visit. The 7 YO is in the back of the garden row, planting with her green

Egreting

2009-10-09T14:22:00.004-07:00

Hey, look there. What's that?I see an egret! It's as big as the 7 YO!Look through your binoculars and you can see it too.We got within 10 yards of the egret before it flew away...... to perch atop this tree on the other side of the lake. I bet we could get closer.Maybe right up in the tree, even.Big ol' dumb adults chased it away.Good bye, Egret.

A Family Portrait

2009-10-04T22:24:00.002-07:00

We went on a hike. It was beautiful. I loved my family and the overcast day and all the creatures great and small whose paths we encountered. I wanted to capture the moment. I wanted a family photo. Maybe not this one.The 9 YO looks genuinely happy, but the rest of us don't appear enthusiastic. This isn't the moment I had hoped to capture. We tried again.Oops. Darn timer. One more time.We could

Criminal Quotes

2009-09-30T20:20:00.004-07:00

The poet, Populist Pugilist, is a criminal public defender. By that I mean he is a public defender of criminals and not a public defender who is criminally inclined. I'm pretty sure that's what he is. Yes, he's ridiculously principled. If he wasn't my friend, I'd shrivel away from the brilliant light cast by his steadfast honor and dignity. He's also smart, compassionate, and far, far away. He's

Todd-O Update

2009-09-29T23:10:00.004-07:00

Todd-o, who is in need of thousands of dollars in dental care including an "elective" crown (I think that means either Todd-o wants a golden grill or insurance companies are stupid), underwent minor outpatient surgery last week. During the course of setting up that surgery, two cancerous bumps were discovered and removed from his nose. YAY nose scabs! Toward the end of the week, Todd-o got to

Mayonnaise Cake

2009-09-21T19:24:00.003-07:00

Todd-o asked for a mayonnaise cake for his birthday. I screwed up at least two before I got it right. As you can see, I don't have much space for the baking of goods and that's probably for the best since I'm obviously not a graceful baker. Can you imagine a whole kitchen of this?Yes. That's a styrofoam Eegee's cup. Yes. It's likely full of high fructose corn syrup. What would you expect from a

Soutwest Plants & People People

2009-09-16T21:47:00.007-07:00

A guest post from Bob, on-call photographer & wheelbarrow operator.Results from this morning's poll.Working hard?Or hardly working?Well, shit. Let's analyze that.The results are in.(Jacques, I shoveled shit today. What did you do?)

Class Dismissed

2009-09-09T21:51:00.006-07:00

I channeled Miss Emily Litela today as a parent chaperone on a field trip to the subversive produce mecca of the 17th Street Market, though I didn't realize it at the time. For those of you not fortunate enough to be reared by parents who worked late into the night, thus allowing you unfettered access to comedians like the brilliant Gilda Radner, take a gander:Oh, Big Brother and I spent hours

Such Summer Reading

2009-08-31T21:51:00.004-07:00

If you were paying attention, I attempted to record in my widgets the books the kids and I read this summer. I didn't do such a great job. The kids read at night when it was too dark for me to see them and it is such a PITA (pain in the ass - via a Solar Rock pal) for them to speak to me, much less tell me what they read. I didn't do much better recording the books I read. For example, I read a

Teaching, Testing, Thinking

2009-08-24T22:02:00.006-07:00

Today was the first day of school for Arizona Wildcats, and in a sense, for my son too. Today, a week into school, the 9 YO was assigned a teacher, Mr. Dub*. I'm not complaining (anymore) because 1) he had the most amazing, stupendous, wonderful substitute teacher and 2) his new teacher is gonna be good. One of the things Mr. Dub told us was that he didn't believe in punishing kids who complete

Wheat and Chaff

2009-08-17T21:39:00.006-07:00

Todd-o and I separated the wheat from the chaff last night. Before you go casting me as a crunchy wheat berry hippie, also know that I just polished off a package of Zingers with Suzy Q's set aside for tomorrow. Diabetes update to follow.Threshing wheat works nicely, whether by hand or machine. Threshing schools is not such a lovely task. (Winnowing sounds more poetic and does involve a gentle

The Finisher - Could that be me? Nah.

2009-08-14T22:19:00.001-07:00

Recently I finished a dish rag I'd been knitting for two years solid. I gave it away straight away, so, no photos. I thought perhaps I could finish a few verbal projects here. I'm terrible at tying up loose ends. I'll tell a tale like Nugget has joined the Peaceable Kingdom or Apples to Apples: An Ethnography of the Apple Store, and then leave it at that. It's not that I don't want to finish the

Meet Puffy 'cause Fluffy is too shy

2009-08-12T19:35:00.004-07:00

Something wonderful happened on Monday - betts* returned from Mexico. Oh the glory! I straight away stole her son for swimming and hot dogs. He loves him some hot dogs because his mother is a veggie eater. I guess that makes me the awesome mom and I can't tell you how appreciative I am that betts* gives me that.Today we relived old times by pulling weeds under the blow-torch that is a Tucson

New Beginnings

2009-08-09T12:04:00.006-07:00

My landlord wants to move in with us, which is totally unacceptable. There's just not enough space here. It doesn't seem right that I suggest she find someplace else as the house belongs to her and all, so I'm taking 30 days to move my family out of the home we've occupied for five years. After checking out the rental $cene, my plan is to beg her to hold off on the contractor, renovations, and

Dayna is a Few of My Favorite Things

2009-08-02T21:16:00.005-07:00

Last Friday, I got my panties tied in a knot. If this has ever happened to you, you'll agree that it ain't pleasant. It's about eleventy million degrees in the desert and any business who has a customer come in the door in this weather (and economy) should fall to their knees in gratitude. Okay. Maybe my attitude was skewed, but honestly the Universe should have been on my side.Have you ever been

Oklahomie Eats

2009-07-26T21:28:00.007-07:00

I packed two cut-up melons from Tucson Community Supported Agriculture, along with French bread rolls, turkey, yogurt, sun tea, water with ice, chocolate milk, grapes, pineapple, and of course yellow mustard. Plus, the backseat barfers get to pick a big bag of chips all for themselves as is our tradition.We ate here (I'm calling this "White Sandwiches, NM")...and here (Cadillac Ranch, Amarillo,

My Fairy Godmother

2009-07-24T19:59:00.005-07:00

Dashing out of town to attend my 20th high school reunion (I graduated early, yes I did), I breathlessly told my friend Yvonne that I had given up finding a decent outfit for the formal turned semi-formal turned dressier than church clothes event, which was, or could have been the first or second night. I wasn't all that clear. I supposed I could find a cotton skirt or, uh, something not grease/

Freshly Mopped

2009-07-15T21:50:00.006-07:00

The Senior Warden and I recently marveled at how predictable our behavior can be. For example, both she and I rearrange the furniture when we are looking for new perspectives or needing to reunite ourselves with our under-the-couch pets. I also like to clean my house prior to embarking on a journey. That's a metaphor, you know, and it's related to the moving of furniture and my struggle for

Denveater Blogs from Okie Noodling Tournament

2009-07-14T09:19:00.005-07:00

Still longing for news from Oklahoma as I do? I'm hearing from all ya'll, "More, more, more!" Well, I won't disappoint. Or should I say my pal Denveater won't disappoint. She's blogging from the Okie Noodling Tournament (we will let the term "Okie" ride for just now) and I'm scraping her content -- well part of her content. To understand my Oklahomies is to understand noodling, local music, and

Hubster's Travels

2009-07-12T21:36:00.008-07:00

Handsome Hubster went to Montana. He promised photographs. By the way he talked I imagined sweeping images of romantic vistas that reminded him of his beloved (that's me), who he'd left behind. An image along the lines of ...Yessss. I imagine a picnic with pink lemonade, potato salad, coleslaw, and roast beef sandwiches. I can smell the beef now.HO-LY COW! WTF? [Gag, wretch] HH, are you serious?

Nugget Update

2009-07-09T21:05:00.004-07:00

Perhaps you remember a nice family who, out of the kindness of their hearts, fostered a sick or injured bird in their peaceable kingdom. Not knowing the extent of Nugget's problems, we opened our home to her. Everyone pitched in. The people set up a private space. The dog and cat kept predators at bay. The birds shared their food and bedding. Yes, we stepped up in service to one of God's

For the Hawt Voyeur

2009-07-05T10:54:00.005-07:00

The Hawt Mz is amazed by Oklahoma's beauty. That's understandable. Peaceful contentment emanates from all who live there, including this guy.One of my favorite things about Oklahoma is the generational connection. Irises were harvested from Handsome Hubster's grandmother's garden in Sulphur by his aunt who then sent them to me as a housewarming gift. Just look at how happy they are snuggled up to

I'm Going Home

2009-07-02T22:12:00.003-07:00

In September 1995 on a random drive-by situation, I saw a man place a FOR SALE sign in the yard of a cute little house near the University of Oklahoma. I arranged for my sister-in-law of six months to check out the place with me. I loved it straight away, but didn't have in mind buying it. I did think it would be a good way to get Handsome Hubster out from underfoot while I set up his surprise

Hold the Phone

2009-06-30T00:12:00.003-07:00

I've admitted before that my parents were freaks. They totally own it, so I don't feel guilty for putting it out there for them to read or not, because, you know, whatever. One way in which they were not much like other parents is that they only made rules about important things like telephone etiquette. Consequently, I have some phone hangups. For example, salutations are scripted."Hello?""Hello

Todd-o's Time in Tucson

2009-06-26T22:51:00.006-07:00

Todd-o caught Valley Fever. His BFFs got it too; one got it twice.His bike was stolen. The bike he found and repaired was reclaimed.His BFF was beaten unconscious and left for dead (but totally recovered with little more than a few rugged, handsome scars as a reminder).While running Thanksgiving errands, some thug shot Todd-o. He got a ride to the hospital and his car impounded.He cleaned dog poo

7 YO Tickles the Ivories

2009-06-22T21:11:00.005-07:00

The Fungal Heart posted a lovely summary of the 7 YO girl's recital. If I could comment on her blog, which I won't because the user name "rebl" is already in use by a Live Journaler (really?), I would say that Fungal was generous to invite us and brave to shoulder the responsibility for such a large crowd in her space on such a sneaky Sunday. She gets a big ol' sloppy wet THANK YOU!Without futher

Refrigerator Art

2009-06-20T17:50:00.005-07:00

When I was a kid, my folks never put anything on the refrigerator. Nothing. Not one thing. Not my perfect grade cards (pre-Freshman year, obviously), not my mountains of awards and certificates, not the number to poison control, not nothing. Well, that's not fair. When I was about 14, my evil father (love you, Daddy) put up a chore chart that was supposed to be signed off by someone else after a

Mushy Guy Stuff

2009-06-18T20:50:00.009-07:00

For Mother's Day, the 9 YO made a chameleon out of twirled paper for me. It took him hours and it's absolutely lovely.The chameleon was the first ever twirled paper project he attempted. He followed the directions in a book. For his second project, he went rogue. That's right! He made a three-banded armadillo for his father using only the skills he had after one project plus his BRAIN! That's

Unexpected Guest

2009-06-16T21:08:00.005-07:00

We had a friend stop by for a bit of convalescence. Meet Nugget.I suppose what I should say is, "You remember Nugget, of course." After all, you met her earlier this year when she made her debut on national television.She's lost her balance and after a good hen pecking Hawt Mz Molly decided that perhaps Nugget needed a break from the bullying. There was more than one Recess Queen*in the school's

The Magic Car Port Carpet

2009-06-13T22:21:00.006-07:00

Early in the evening Handsome Hubster rolled out a carpet in the car port. How plush is that? The idea was that he'd get it ready for storage with a quick clean, then wrap it up for safekeeping. I had been in the backyard wondering if my grapefruit tree could be brought back to life. I have hope. Many new leaf clusters are busting out of otherwise lifeless branches. I credit Handsome Hubster's

Imaginary LA

2009-06-07T00:08:00.003-07:00

The kids and I sneaked off to Los Angeles to see my step-brother on the event of my mother's visit to him. I bet you didn't even know I had one (a step-brother, that is, as I presume you assume I have a mother and was not hatched, though my father insists that I had been). In fact, I have FOUR step-brothers (only one mother). Most of the time, I think of myself as a baby sister with one single

Where I Won't Live - or More Fun with Google

2009-05-29T13:24:00.005-07:00

When I moved to Tucson in September 2000, I had it in mind to return to Oklahoma as soon as possible. Immediately, I noticed how unfriendly and often inaccurate the fast food workers were. In fact, the entire town seemed to be lacking any need to appear, much less BE, polite. The most egregious breach of etiquette has to be door infractions. I offer you, by way of example, the story of a visibly

Dear Peggy,

2009-05-26T20:31:00.009-07:00

OMG! I went to the racquet club today. They should really call it the "racket" club. HA HA! You wouldn't believe what a low rent place that is! It's barely on the cusp of privilege. I mean, I was the LEAST tat2ed person there (having no tat2s - I missed out on that rite too)! Half the cars had bumperstickers promoting Obama, all the rage, I'm sure you've heard. One truck spoiled the otherwise

Happy Memorial Day!

2009-05-25T11:47:00.004-07:00

Presenting this morning's coffee mug. I just adore the Handsome Hubster.I didn't know until my grandfather was way past dementia that he survived several, er, harsh landings as a pilot in WWII. I think Señor BlogBlah had better cough up some family stories (Warning Dad: Incoming Family Journal!)

Wonders of the Universe

2009-05-24T09:51:00.002-07:00

How on earth did this guyand this galget this boyand this girl?

Killing Time & a Review

2009-05-23T09:57:00.005-07:00

The poll closes in five days and it appears as though my multitude of five imaginary readers (thanks Dad, Volpone, Shylock, Rover, and Mrs. Pinchwife) want to know where I refuse to live. Then again, yesterday I received six of the cutest photographic gifties, so perhaps the pulse of the people will change.In the meantime, a certain 7 YO is getting a jump start on the summer promises she made to

You Tell Me

2009-05-21T11:14:00.001-07:00

I've got some things on my mind, but I barely know where I am much less where you are. Take the poll. Give me inspiration - a raisin to write.In the meantime, we are going to indulge in what may be a new surprising first day of summer vacay tradition. It's not what you'd expect from a desert environ.Thu83°F | 65°F

What a Rush!

2009-05-19T22:39:00.005-07:00

At age 14 I lived in the last house on the left (the literal one, not the movie one*). The tree shaded dead end street played home to three main residences, but so many more of us lived there. My grandmother and great grandmother resided across the street. My current computer guru lived in a tiny cottage out back making stuff on his Mac for the Oklahoma Film Society or something cooler than

My Baby Riffs!

2009-05-18T22:22:00.003-07:00

My boy is riffin' the blues. I'm not sure what that means, but it was aaaawesome! Per my usual e-clepto behavior, I sneaked some free intro applause and exit blues off the World Wide Web for this video. Me edit pretty one day. Unfortunately for you but better for the 9 YO boy, I was too lazy to add a running commentary. If I had, it would go like this:I'm verging on nervous barfdom, so I steadied

Fun with Google: Part 2

2009-05-11T21:27:00.006-07:00

I caught these mourning doves doing the dirty deed. Every day they are out there. I don't find doves to be all that bright. Rather I find haphazard nests on precarious perches with sad fallen eggs splattered nearby.I've been watching a pair humming birds outside my picture window for some time. This photo wasn't taken with some fancy zoom. These birds were about four or so feet from where I sat

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T01:00:00.001-07:00

Patterns and dolls available from Cozy Coleman.

Mother of the Year

2009-05-05T21:23:00.004-07:00

In spite of what my children might like to tell you, I am a really good mom. I'm a really, really good mom. No. Really. My pal Martha sent me this link as evidence. Here's additional goods to prove it.My 6 YO (soon to be 7) girl left this on her doorstep. Let me walk you through it. At first, she simply refuses my access. Note that she can't bring herself to call me "Mom" and uses my name instead

Mother Earth Day

2009-05-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

About mid-way between Earth Day and Mother's Day, Caddo Artist sent me this:Caddo Care Carton Contents:Sandy Springs Buffalo Meat Jerky, Hinton, OKPepper Creek Farms Dip Mix, Lawton, OKEEMB Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix & Peanut Butter Brownie, Lexington, OKLasley Roasted Peanuts, Eakly, OKScott Farms Tortilla Soup Mix & Reds, Rice, & Spice, Altus, OKSooners Salsa, Amigo's Salsa, Ardmore,

What's Blooming

2009-04-27T12:05:00.008-07:00

Our night blooming cerus attracted a visitor. Is this a cerus? I think so. It is now anyway. Sometimes we have more than 30 larger-than-your-hand-sized blooms on that cactus. Have you met our new pet bee? We are taking up bee-keeping. Not bees-keeping. Just the one. Doing our part to prevent Colony Collapse Disorder and therefore world destruction.My great-grandmother in Alabama had a gorgeous

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2009-04-22T17:11:00.004-07:00

Happy Earth Day!

Earth Day Preview

2009-04-21T19:43:00.007-07:00

Tomorrow is Borton's annual Earth Day Celebration. My shtick is ground hole identification.Who lives down there?Not these guys...Nor these...Bunnies like to visit day and night.Check out these jokers!The real occupants will be revealed tomorrow at the most spectacular Earth Day around thanks to a stop-action camera on loan.

9 YO Tableau

2009-04-20T21:53:00.001-07:00

That's Right, Kale Chips

2009-04-19T22:39:00.001-07:00

The most insanely fantastical librarian gave Hawt Mz. Molly a tip on kale chips, which she then passed on to me in lieu of getting emotionally involved in my daily drama. Now all ya'll will benefit from a resourceful woman-to-woman, educator-to-educator network.Right prior to the kids' spring break, the perfect storm of crazy busy, interpersonal frustration, and a visit from Aunt Flo hit like

Housekeeping

2009-04-17T20:35:00.008-07:00

Not the real sort of housekeeping where I wash dishes or any of that. As the hubster will attest, I detest such frivolity and won't entertain even the thought it. For example, here is my drawing room:And my library:Okay, these are photos of the Collyer Brother's home, but only because we don't have a drawing room or a library. Instead we have a landfill and a Goodwill drop-off station, and unlike

Would you...

2009-04-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

... put your face in a hole if your brother told you to? I would.

All Well and Good

2009-04-09T08:00:00.001-07:00

Speaking of jejune, I totally forgot the truest jejuney thing ever! I couldn't stop picking at the imperfection. Turns out it wasn't a birthmark, nor was it even a pimple. Nay, it flaked off rather easily reminding me of the importance of exfoliating. The routine sloughing off of dead cells is an important part of the revitalization process.Shrugging off or heading off this invented drama helps

Jejune Reflections

2009-04-08T20:32:00.011-07:00

The usual opening for this blog lately: I feel acutely. I may be an empath.The 6 YO girl wound up her swing to enjoy the thrill of spinning, spinning. As the ropes turned back on themselves, a lock of her hair got caught up and twisted until her hair was pulled out at the roots leaving a nickle-sized bald spot. Her little feet didn't reach the ground and Mom-a-Tron was inside washing dishes. I

Popping Zits Leaves Me Crired

2009-04-07T10:22:00.004-07:00

I'm deeply distracted. My head is a zillion miles away, so when I get in the hot seat, I don't really know what I'm saying. I think I know what I'm saying and I certainly sorta know what I mean. Until my head is right, I need to learn to take a deep breath and say nothing to let people think I'm a fool rather than open my mouth and prove it. Or I need a "so what if I said it" sort of attitude. I

Bocal Sandwich

2009-04-02T21:52:00.010-07:00

Last night I went to a school meeting and made comments that I wasn't ready to make. I drew blank and felt caught with my pants down. Instead of terror, some folks read passion in my voice. I guess that's better? In any event, I woke up with "I should have said this instead" thoughts. At the school this morning, a few pals said they appreciated my emotional honesty, which totally grossed me out

Solar Power Rocks!

2009-03-30T21:58:00.008-07:00

For a second, I was at Winfest. Then I realized things weren't green and squishy. Also, we live in Tucson and not Winslow. You'd think that because both towns are in Arizona no big diff, but you'd be wrong. My thoughts took me to Winslow, Arkansas where Arkansawyers get down to bluegrass and rock and country and stuff. The Hubster adored his Fighting Squirrels (closed in 2005). I'm more lukewarm

Excessive Misery

2009-03-26T20:29:00.004-07:00

I don't even want to get into the drama clouding the pastoral existence I've so desperately attempted to carve out for my family. Don't ask and don't tell, please. I'll keep mine to myself. You keep yours to yourself and we will pretend everything is fine and dandy like a hard candy Christmas. Leave me alone, I'm doing fine, Just go away, I'll be okay, Please don't touch me... (an inside joke

Puberty Love

2009-03-23T19:51:00.003-07:00

If you found this blog because of a dirty Google search, get help you perverted bastard. This is not a sick tale. I mean it is, just not in that way.The sick part is how I take such pleasure in the routine torture of my family with remnants of my somewhat twisted childhood. My brother and I are products of the slight neglect of parents who had a great sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic.

Yo, Sugar!

2009-03-17T21:52:00.003-07:00

My words, my settings, their credit. Wordle.net to your mother.

Round 2 with Happy Hour Car Hop

2009-03-12T21:01:00.004-07:00

I'm not wrathfull any longer, just perplexed by a world in which I can no longer communicate with today's car hoppers. An update:"Hi, yes. I would like an unsweetened iced tea with sugar on the side [and some other stuff].""Okay, so you want unsweet iced tea with sugar on the side [and some other stuff].""Yes.""We'll have that right out to you.""Great. Thanks."Tea is delivered, you guessed it,

Rated PG-13

2009-03-10T22:41:00.003-07:00

I've been, uhm, looser in my language lately. Tweeting at work and in the 6 YO girl's salon (put an accent on that "o" and it's classroom in Spanish, not a place to get your hair done where language can be more racy) has elevated my awareness of just that. So I took this test and got this result:This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: suck (4x)ass

We should all be so well edited.

2009-03-07T20:25:00.006-07:00

No one questioned the published writing of the other 9 YO with whom I worked. Seriously, you can't just be happy for the boy?Here are the facts:1) I showed him spell check.2) He conducted interviews and used the interviewee's words in paraphrasing.3) Multiple drafts were involved.4) There is an editor on the other end who is trying to foster good writing in kids and at the same time has a

These are the days, my friends...

2009-03-06T21:03:00.011-07:00

I should start at the top of the morning. The 9 YO boy debuted his mad skillz as a photojournalist. He's got reporting in his blood from Gramp-A-Long and a fair amount of language ability from both Gigi and Grammanina. Also, as he reported to KOLD, his mom is always at school and I guess his boredom with that or my insistence that he entertain himself inspired him. The story was written one

J'Accuse!

2009-03-03T12:25:00.004-07:00

Gramp-A-Long would like to hear more about the 9 YO boy. According to that ol' gas bag, my focus has been too 6 YO girl centric. Setting aside that he once told me that sometimes one kid is on the brain and other times another child is, I'm going to try to excuse/explain my way out of that accusation.As it happens, the girl is more interested in Mommy than the newly 9 boy, so we spend more time

Incognito on Rachael Ray

2009-02-27T21:31:00.007-07:00

The episode of Rachael Ray featuring the hard work of Hawt Mz. Molly and crew will be aired on March 6th. If you follow the link, there are two pictures of yours truly in a flash format, so I couldn't easily steal them. Now do you think that's fair? Neither do I, so I learned how to poach images. BTW, I'm not saying Ultimate taught me how to do that photo stealing trick, but you know, if you need

Jesus Can Suck It

2009-02-25T21:33:00.004-07:00

With Ash Wednesday almost over I've made no Lenten promises. Just as well. In no way, large or small, have I been the sort of reflective, repentant, renunciationitive* Christian my parents and community of worship has taught me to be during this finite time each year.I didn't go to church for ashing (sloth). My diet consisted of potato chips, ice scream sandwiches, chocolate, and soda pop (

Begging Your Pardon

2009-02-22T14:41:00.006-07:00

Daddy-o's thought for the day for February 19th:One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend. Proverbs 17:9From childhood I was taught to seek Jesus in everyone. The result is that I'm easy pickings for spare change requests. Earlier this week I was accosted at the grocery by a guy who wouldn't shut it on his beg. This guy wouldn't let up.

Daisy Died :-(

2009-02-15T22:03:00.003-07:00

A Breath of Fresh Air

2009-02-14T10:19:00.008-07:00

Those who know and love me understand that I am going to let them down at the holidays. It's just not my thing - not that I haven't tried. Not that I haven't tried to do it up, that is, not not that I haven't tried to let folks down. It's inevitable that I let you down, because even though I try, I'm not that good at doing it up. Huh?Point is, I suck at holidays regardless of my intention, but

My House of Carbs

2009-02-09T21:56:00.005-07:00

Look at this, wouldja? Just look it! Robyn gave me some Amish Friendship bread.Robyn isn't Amish. I think she just wanted a bloggy shout out. She's such a blog whore. If it were possible for me to exist in Arizona, or Earth for that matter, without Robyn - forget it. It's not possible and I don't want to contemplate an Earth without her. I wanted to hate her friendship bread because she's always

A Chick Flick

2009-02-07T19:58:00.007-07:00

I love my hens just a little more now that they aren't all molting and nekked. And my hens seem to love me ever so slightly more. Maybe that's because I hand feed them raisins, a trick the neighbors taught me. The chicks don't mind so much the huntress kitty cat, and Boris is largely unconcerned by the whole lot of us outside the Hubster. I dubbed the video sound to cover my yelling, "NO RAISINS

Fun with Google: Part 1?

2009-01-29T22:17:00.007-07:00

To get my job, now that it's legit, I gots ta update the resume. Time to hit the Googles. Citizen's League, check. Language Arts, check. But wait! There's more!You may or may not know that I got skills. Yup. I sure do. Perhaps you can't think of a single one, but I did recently earn honorable mention in a photography competition that was judged by impartial professional photographers. It's true.

First Two Things, Then Off to Bed

2009-01-24T19:39:00.005-07:00

First, an update. Look at how famous I am! Fox shot me pointing a finger at some vegetables. BTW, isn't Molly every bit as gorgeous as I always said?Second, my dad often quoted the old joke, "Weaving? I can't even knit!" Well, here's a reason to learn. Go to the description. Ho-ly HA-HA! You can even click to enlarge. Oh, those crafty AntiCrafters!Big thanks to my pal Tracy for the AntiCraft lead!

Because It's All About Me

2009-01-23T11:13:00.009-07:00

I should have worn my Bali bra with modesty petals.As it was, I chose a lumpy dumpy message t-shirt over anything fashionable.The result was less cute college co-ed and more public school mommy volunteer out in the cold January rain.I imagined Denise Richards, but all things considered I should give up the Tom Cruise samurai hair don't. Imagine this hooker hair only less Rodeo Drive and more Main

Perpetuating a Fraud

2009-01-19T14:38:00.005-07:00

If I could be anyone in the world, I'd be the person described in this blog post. She sounds cool what with that community garden, bird sanctuary, and borrowed solar oven. A person like that has friends because those types of things don't happen without the efforts of many.To be featured by Ruth Tobias, who has written for, among other places*, The Boston Globe, is most assuredly an honor. When I